Nice Decent Clean Jokes

Nice Decent Clean Jokes

'If you want to read Nice and Decent Clean Jokes then it is the best place for your desire and laughter needs. Undoubtedly you can share these modest jokes with your family, friends, relatives, elders and younger siblings.'


Very Neat - Very Funny - Responsive - Cute - Evergreen - General

General:

It takes patience to list.. But it takes skill to pretend you are listening.

Me: Do you like to travel?
Him: Yes, alot..
Me: How many places visited?
Him: Home to college - College to home.. LOL

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUP..

Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!

What two things can never be eaten for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner

What is so special about Pretty Bunny’s jewellery?
It is made from 14 carrot (carrat) gold

Where can you always find a tiger’s head?
Four feet from its tail.



What's brown and runny?
Usain Bolt.

How do you make one disappear?
Add a ‘g’ or an ‘n’ to ‘one’!

Very Funny:

if a girl says - I don't like shopping...than marry her!

After making girlfriends, guys actually know how costly the life style is.

Wife: What is the spelling of Happiness
Husband: U.N.M.A.R.R.I.E.D.

Some kids are so cute that after seeing them - we desire to meet their moms..

Beggar Gets 10 cents from madam on red light.
Her shouts: this is not fair..
Madam: Why?
Beggar: One last red light, you donated USD 10..
Mada,m: How did you know?
Beggar: While showing his apple phone, see he shouted in group on whatsapp!

Kid: My teacher is cute and beautiful.
Dad: Son, teacher is like mother.
Kid: Selfish, you always think o your self.

Responsive:

How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A wave.

Something a bridegroom might wear: 'A dress..'

Dr: When did you first notice you had diarrhea?
Patient: When I took off my bicycle clips.

Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: 'Feeds your pets..'

My girlfriend told me choose any one - "friends or me". Sometimes I miss her.

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.

*Stalks crush on Facebook*... *Accidentally likes status from 2009*... *Deletes Facebook*... *Sets computer on fire*... *Leaves country*

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They both live underground, apart from the eagle.

Cute:

Girl's logic: When you like a guy, do nothing about it and expect him to magically know and make the first move.

You breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.

Something that makes you close your eyes: "Dark.."

What's the difference between driving in golf and driving a car?
When you drive a car you don't want to hit anything.

Wife : Do you want meal?
Husband: What are my choices?
Wife: Denial or acceptance.

Evergreen:

The pig who fell in the DIRTY MUD took a CLEAN bath

The robber who was robbing was caught by a GOOD policeman

Very Neat

Child : With report card in hand..

Mother: So whats your final grade?

Child : Underwater

Mother : what does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL (Sea.. you know..)

When are the steps rude????
When they stair at you!

Age is an issue of mind oer matter.. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.. - Mark

Kld : (returning from his match in his floor) "Mom", can I have an apple?
Mom: Baby, you just ate one.
Kid: An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.

When they argue with women - I feel they are wasting time. You know when you read terms & conditions - finally at the end, you need to say 'I agree'. haha

Weather forecast for tonight - DARK

Practice - makes us perfect.. But at the end nobody is perfect so what is the point of practicing?

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